I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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