Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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