so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
