I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
