please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
