I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
