My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
