Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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