so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
