he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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