hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
