Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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