I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
