i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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