just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
