I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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