I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
