What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
