i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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