i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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