I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
