somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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