I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
