Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
