i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You're like the curious george of whores
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
