Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
