He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
