You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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