I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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