once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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