just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
