i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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