I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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