Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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