Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize