its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
