i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
