wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
