Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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