Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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