you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize