OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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