I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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