This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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