he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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