Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
