is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
