I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
