bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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