Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
