But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
