As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Then you guys just all showered together...?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
