Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just invented taco cereal.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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