tell your sister to shave her snatch
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
