When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
