Plan B is the new Plan A
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
