I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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